I’ve been thinking of this for a long time
now and every single time I’ve been reaching the same conclusion.
As much as we’d like to do what we want,
when we want and how we want ALL of the time, we are restricted by the rules
that govern us. Rules such as time, money, circumstances and the system.
Even though, we abide by these rules for
many reasons (some of them obvious), at what point do we draw the line between
personal happiness and do the things we HAVE to do versus the things we WANT to
do. At what point in time do we have complete happiness in what we do. I’ve
started noticing that happiness lies within the chosen balance in which you
have in your life…
For me, personally, I am a perfectionist.
So very rarely did I feel a sense of complete balance in my own life. At the
times that I did, it never lasted very long. It always seemed to be a tossup
between the most important things in my life: work, my label, and
family/friends/men. When one was going great, i had the other one in the back
of my mind and just dreading every bit of how it made me feel.
So what do I do to create this balance….?
And why do the obvious and most apparent reasons always seem so difficult. Why
do I find every reason not to do the things that need to be done?
Take our jobs for example. We have every
reason not to stay in a job that is unfulfilling, unrewarding and does not in
any way portray the true worth of who we are (judging by your salary!) yet we
stay.
We stay in relationships when there is
every sign not to. We somehow manage to justify, in our heads that him making
us feel good for just one day can override the other 6 days in a week he made
us feel like shit.
We see reason not to speak up for what we
believe in and continue to do the things we firmly believe is not right.
We make it “ok” by saying: “IF I was
richer, IF I was in charge, IF I didn’t have family/kids/obligations….” The
list goes on.
But where does it all stop. At what stage
do we make the decision to be completely happy in what we have, what we do and
even more so what we believe in? At what stage does it become “acceptable” to
go against what you were taught to believe in and start going with the things
you believes in.
The only limits we have in life are the
limits set upon us by ourselves. The only limits that hold us back are the
limits put onto us by other people (and that we were taught to believe).
The terms I hear people say all too often
and which I dislike so much are “let’s hope”, “I wish” and “go with the flow”. To
me that’s like leaving your car keys in your ignition and “hoping” they won’t
steal your car!
I can’t speak for all of ya’ll but I do feel
safe in speaking to the masses when I ask the question…. Why do so many of us
leave the keys in the ignition and “hope” our car won’t get stolen. In the very
same way, we have learnt to take proper steps to avoid disaster of our car
being stolen, why we not take the necessary steps in other sectors of our
lives. In extreme cases, why do some of us choose not to drive our own car and
not even take that risk/responsibility of looking after your own car? Yes, I
could go on about this damn car which is a whole other topic on its own.
But why do we not take control of our own
lives, why do we do the things we do, why do we procrastinate ALL the time, and
most importantly, why do we believe in other people more than we believe in
ourselves???
For me, it’s not that simple. But thinking
about it, it’s not that hard either! For me, I think my resistance and utter
dislike to change and “surprises” bothers me.
“Our biggest fear is not that we will fail,
but that our success will be beyond fathomable”
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